when babyNOIR starts talking...

avoiding pink and beyond...

2011-01-11T22:27:00.000-05:00

As Kharin gets older - now she's 2 years and 4 months old - people are starting to make small talk with her. One of the standard questions they pick to engage the child is, "what's your favorite color?" to which Kharin just gives a blank stare. At this point, she doesn't know what they're talking about.

Every time I hear that question and watch the "huh...?" form in my toddler's head, I find myself being annoyed. Then I wonder why.

I realize after a bit of lemon ginger tea and inner reflection, the question feels to me a bit limiting. Words are designed to communicate; by naming objects, feelings, and abstract ideas and everything. But, once the thing is named, it is binding. Like, the moment you name the feeling you are having "sadness," that's all you will be feeling. Sadness. If you didn't name it, it might have been 75% sadness, 8% yearning, 6% love, 5% anger, 3% ennui, and 3% caffeine. Words are tricky like that. Similarly, by saying your "favorite" color out loud, you are in essence deciding the color that is to be designated as your "favorite", and that is binding as well. It is a bit of self-fulfilling-prophesy. I like blue, therefore I like blue. If you don't pick one color, you are free to like whichever color you like at any moment in time.

I am also afraid of the seemingly inevitable "I love pink and I want everything to be in pink" phase Kharin may plunge into. I will see what colors happen to my toddler in the next few years. As of now, she wears whatever I put her into, and there is no pale pink in her wardrobe.

iPad and Our Future

2010-12-10T16:05:00.000-05:00

Christmas approaches. Kharin and I are manning the store - Creators' Co-Op - watching people shopping and getting ready for the whole gift-giving-thing. And I wonder...

Kharin is actually sitting next to me right now, watching her playlist on Youtube. It consists of variety of videos - from Shimajiro's toilet training, Singing In The Rain to Vallarta Adventure Dolphin Kids. We borrowed our friend Gaetano's NetBook for this purpose so I can work, and she is very comfortable working the machine. She is two years old.

My computer guy Craig was telling me about how iPad is so intuitive, it is one of the major gift items for age goup 6 to 12 year olds this year. I thought it was ridiculously expensive for people so young, but if you take the price out of the equation, it does make sense. Kharin has played with my friends' iPads from time to time, and it is amazing to see her start to manipulate the software and tools on it within minutes. The thing is really intuitive.

By the time she is a teenager, computer will probably be talking back to her like in Star Trek. As for this Christmas, she will be getting a toddler digital camera from her non-believer mother.

opening a store

2010-10-24T11:03:00.000-04:00

So much has happened!
I am about to open a co-operative style store full of hand-made goods in Astoria, Queens. It all started when I was dropping off some babyNOIR merchandise at KrisTEES. I was telling the owner Kristie that someone should take advantage of the market she developed in that part of Astoria for the past 5 years by providing a beautifully chosen designer fashion in the area. There are many young, hip people in my neighborhood, but they mostly go to Manhattan and Brooklyn to shop. KrisTEES changed that a bit. I told her I would like to open a store in a few years, with babyNOIR and babySOLAIRE along with some complimentary lines. Then, she told me about a little store front available a block from hers. She said, "someone should turn that into a cool boutique."

My brains did some working behind my back for a few days - you know how you can't really trust your own brains with interesting information - then one day I suddenly an idea about a co-op style store for all my creative friends and colleagues. It was brilliant! By sharing the overhead cost, I didn't have to carry the burden of it all by my self. And, all my friends who'd been wanting to have a venue to sell their creations will have a space with walls and a roof!

I signed the lease (super cool landlady!), got the liability insurance, opened the Con Edison account, started leaving fliers everywhere, painted the walls (til 3am!!), got the furniture in (thanks, Gary!!), and got the first artist's creations in - MSG by Mami Suzuki! The door is to open on November 3rd, and grand opening soiree in the evening of the 5th!

Will keep you posted!

summer is coming to an end

2010-09-08T02:19:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I blogged...
well, summer happened.

Bright sun, cold water calling, blue sky...

Swam in the river, learned to ride in the Topeak bicycle seat,
pulled a Radio Flier red wagon during Pennsic 39,
went to the beaches,
had a birthday party ("is TWO!") with Shimajiro's crown,
learned to climb trees,
and just got dark in general.

Autumn is nearly upon us, we are gearing up to our fall season!

Starting this Saturday at Artisan-Market at Fort Greene Park, and Sunday in Upper East Side Manhattan on 3rd Avenue between 66th & 86th Street!

See you all soon!

Munchie Mug

2010-06-18T02:53:00.001-04:00

After having to vacuum both of our cars several times, I searched for a good spill-proof snack cup for our little babyNOIR. I found one on amazon, called Munchie Mug Snack Cup. Now, it's not very cute. Frankly in my opinion, it is pretty ugly. But!! Parents sometimes MUST go for practicality rather than aesthetics, and this was one of those times.

This snack cup works better than some of the others I've seen, because the top twists on, instead of just popping on. Toddlers will not figure out how to get the top off for a long time - if ever. The stretchy over-lapping flap top keeps all the snacks in the cup as babyNOIR shakes the cup in her excitement.

Now, babyNOIR carries her "cereal-o" with her in this Munchie Mug everywhere we go without us having to tell her it's all gone because she sprinkled them all over, and we are all very happy.

Memorial Day Weekend!

2010-05-27T02:03:00.000-04:00

It's pretty hot in NYC! We are gearing up to the 3 days of vending this Memorial Day Weekend!

babyNOIR's super colorful cousin babySOLAIRE sundresses will be now available up to 8-year-old size!

5/29 Sat: Waverly Place Festival - north side of Washington Square Park

5/30 Sun: 23rd Annual Livable West Side Festival - on Broadway, between 72nd & 86th Streets. We will be in between 78th & 79th Streets!

5/31 Mon: Annual Cedar Lane Family Festival - in Teaneck, NJ! we will be on Cedar Lane between Elm and Garrison Streets.

hope to see you there!!

on spoiling the baby

2010-05-23T01:32:00.001-04:00

I was vending today with my friends Nunzio-the-mommie's/women's-clothing-maker and Scott-the-baby-chaser-so-I-can-vend-all-day. My baby had a great time running around, looking at other people's products, talking to passerby s, and just generally getting lots of attention and affection as a 20-months-old.

A gentleman who was selling his wares out of India next to my booth was nice, and we chatted on and off all day. Then he said, "your baby is so cute. She is really smart, and adventurous. I see that she gets a lot of attention, but be careful so she doesn't get spoiled."
That comment really, really bothered me. I felt that I had a glimpse into the source of many problems people have as they grow and soul-search. I told him right then, "giving a child lots of positive attention does not spoil her. It makes her strong and connected, so she will be able to learn to be a better person."

People confuse not being able to do things they want to do in the manner they would like because of a child needing attention with actually failing to install in a child the sense of empathy which translates into the socially proper behavior. These are two different things.

A child at any stage needs lots of attention, and that's how they grow. By "attention," I mean a certain type of attention, though attention nonetheless. I give her whatever she wants, as long as it doesn't harm her. She asks for it because it is age appropriate for her to ask it. And, truthfully, she mainly wants to be and do things with me, or someone she loves. I give her my full attention whenever I can, pushing her to... To love me, of course! And to be compassionate, to be analytical, to be curious, to be brave, to be careful, to be musical, to be physical... my attempts are endless. I talk to her in Japanese, so she'll know my language and have a better mental control than if I didn't. I call out the colors as I take out crayons out of the box one by one. I give the show of enormous enthusiasm when I notice a something - a fire engine, an airplane, a dog, a book - so she would become excited about these little things. I tell her our itinerary of the day and repeat it with much enthusiasm several times in the morning, so she will know to expect something and actually have them happen - to learn to plan. Then at the end of the day, I talk about our day with her to her daddy, emphasizing the fun bit and encouraging her to chime in, so she will learn to recall and express herself. It's all about having fun with her and nudging her along. But, that means sometimes I deny what she asks - like when she wants to snatch the Thomas the Tank Engine from her friend's hands, or when she wants an ice cream from the Big Gay Ice cream Truck after she's had a few cookies, or when she asks me to open my Swiss Army Knife.

I strongly believe paying positive attention to your kids connects you with her, making her resilient, so you can (hopefully) guide her towards better version of herself. One of my guide as a parent is Dr. Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell's Parenting from Inside Out.

Again, give the kids A LOT!! of attention. You'll know which kind, if you pay attention. We are all busy, and nowhere near perfect, but we do what we can, as much as we can.

Love,
kazooooooooooooooooo

Thoughts On Being An Alien Mother

2010-05-02T07:11:00.001-04:00

As in a legal alien.

The whole controversy with Arizona's immigration law reminds me of an incident we had in New Mexico. In tern, I wonder about the possible future of this country my Japanese-Macedonian-Rromani-American child will be a part of.

It was 2006, we were on our honeymoon in New Mexico. We drove everywhere in the states, hitting many of the beautiful parks and Pueblos, and stopping at natural hot springs along the way. It was all beautiful, and so much fun. Then we headed to the White Sands National Monument. As we got closer to the park, we came across a check point on the highway, where an officer asked us if we were U.S. citizens. My husband said yes, then smiling, I waved and said, "I'm not!" We had no idea why the officer was asking the question in the first place, and well, you gotta be honest, right? Let me remind you that we are New Yorkers.

The officer then asks me to show him my passport. To which I reply, "WHY?!" with the slight attitude that is always right below the surface of all New Yorkers. The officer is a bit taken aback, but politely rallies with "because you are not a U.S. citizen." Now this is ridiculous. "I don't have it, because we haven't left the country. No one walks around with a passport. I have my driver's license." Then the officer sighs, and asks where we are from. He sighs again upon hearing our New York origin, and asks if I am a permanent resident. I pointedly reply that I am, then he politely requests if he may please see the Green Card. "I don't carry that!" The officer still politely pushes on with "uh...why not?"

Now I'm annoyed. "Do you know how hard it is to replace it if I lose it? Do you know how mean these people are at the immigration office? I have it where it is safe, with my passport, at home! Why would I carry it when I'm traveling within the country? If you need my identification, I have my driver's license!"

"So you really don't carry your passport or the Green Card?

"NO! WHO DOES?"

"Well, everyone, when you are this close to the border."

"I've been to upstate New York, and NO ONE asks for a passport!"

"... that's not the same border."

The officer, who is not a New Yorker, still gently pushes on with the request to see my social security card, which I don't carry, because, REALLY, WHO DOES??? You have your number memorized, and the number checks out when anyone bothers to really check it, that's all it's for, right?? Now the officer writes down my social security number, takes my driver's license, and apologetically asks us to drive over to the little building on the side of the road, while he checks it up. We do so, and see another car with a couple standing by. The young woman is a pretty blond, and the man next to her seems to be from India or a Pakistan. My husband and I laugh, and approach them. "Let me guess, Massachusetts?" They laugh with "close. Connecticut. You?" "New York. Who walks around with a passport! What-the-hell! Right?" "Yeah, right? It didn't even occur to us. We weren't leaving the country." "I know! It's crazy!" The pretty blond sensibly suggests that we probably have a different reality being so close to the border. I guess so. But really, they should put that little fact on all the travel guides!! I don't remember seeing that warning on my Lonely Planet!

Our active northern conversation subdues and we put on our polite faces when an officer approaches us with our driver's licenses.

"Ma'am, Your documents checked out."
"Of course they do."
"...please have your passport and Green Card on you the next time."
"Sure."
We wave at the other couple and drive off, talking about how crazy all of that was.

We finally arrive at the White Sands National Monument, and it was beautiful.

At the next check point, an officer politely asks if we were U.S. citizen, and we both smile and say, "YES!"

If this had been in present-time Arizona, I would have been jailed, and my husband would have had to fly back to our apartment in New York, and bring back my passport and Green Card, then pay the fine for all the trouble I caused.

My little babyNOIR has the beauty you'd call "exotic." With any racial profiling, she would be targeted. I hope we will not move in that direction. I have come to this country as a student, and became a permanent resident through marriage. I have worked illegally and legally, and paid taxes throughout while I do not have the right to vote. I am not applying for a citizenship, for reasons that are my own. This country was built and has been run and supported by millions of immigrants just like me. Very funny Ms. Wanda Sykes said something really brilliant - "Why are they called illegal immigrants? They're undocumented workers. If someone broke into my house and vacuumed my rug, I might be puzzled. But mad?"

I know many "illegal immigrants" who are hard-working people whose service we cannot do without. Would you really work in a farm in all hours of the day and night along side an owner? Would you really sit there and sew garments all day long, after having to learn how to do it meticulously to compete against goods coming in from China? Would you really work every night, cleaning offices for a minimum wage? The whole thing about trying to eliminate the criminal activity by eliminating the specific group of people reminds me of Swift's A Modest Proposal.

music together with babyNOIR

2010-04-16T23:55:00.000-04:00

Today was babyNOIR's first day at Music Togehter, and we loooooove it!! Compared to the other baby music classes we took, our teacher Maureen is better trained to 1) grab and retain babies' and adults attention, 2) break down and explain, 3) project! - sing really, really well and loud, which helps the point 1). The material we received is really good, too. In the CD package they gave us, there are 2 CD's, so we can have one at home and one in the car. How thoughtful!!

We like the songs. They feel developmentally appropriate for babies with simple clear lyrics and catchy melody line. I especially love the exploration of different types of rhythm - okay, I'm a drummer - there's even a song in 9/8 meter! - These songs are so catchy, baby Kharin already started singing along this afternoon. That was only the 3rd time she heard these songs - once in the class this morning, once at home while she was playing, then she started singing along when I put the CD on in the car. I say they know what they're doing.

We know the benefit of music in our lives. It helps us develop mathematical skills, and it just makes us happy people. I am really happy to have found a place where my baby can hang with her peers and really get in to music.

penmanship and thank you notes

2010-04-11T23:06:00.002-04:00

A Future Calligrapher,
originally uploaded by buddhadog.

I read an article about Socialkidz on mommypoppins the other day. In Socialkids classes, small kids learn about the etiquette and good manners we all would like our babies to know. Like good handshakes, eye contact, introducing yourself to people, and thank you notes.

That got me thinking - my husband has always been saying he wants our baby to take Japanese calligraphy classes. He's in love with the whole idea, though he can't really articulate why. In my elementary school in Japan, calligraphy was a part of the curriculum and I always took it for granted. But, I do think having a decent penmanship is socially important. So is sending hand-written thank you notes.

I have an okay penmanship, and thank people with emails if I remember to send anything at all.

Our children should be better people than we are. Or, we shoot for it to come true as parents. No?

I may or may not enroll baby Kharin in Socialkidz when she gets older, but I will make sure I will at least teach her everything I know about becoming a respectful, polite person.

coconut juice and baby

2010-04-04T12:12:00.001-04:00

When my baby Kharin had a 48-hour diarrhea, I gave her sippy cups full of coconut juice. She loved it so much, she drinks it now every day. I initially thought of coconut juice, standing in the supermarket, looking at the bright color of Pedialyte - does it have to be colored like this??? - and repeating the pediatrician's words in my head. He had said, "you need to prevent dehydration by continuing nursing, and giving her electrolyte liquid like watered down sport drink or Pedialyte." So - I thought - we need some liquid that has electrolyte in it so Kharin's body can absorb fluid easily. Then I remembered me drinking coconut water while I was pregnant, because my midwife had told me to drink it. It is full of electrolyte!

I didn't hesitate giving it to her, although there isn't any conclusive scientific advice for or against coconut water for infants or toddlers that I could find. There are lots of articles on line for the benefit of coconut water in general, though. I figured I was okay with it since she is now over 12 months old and I hadn't heard or read anything against coconut water so far. Kharin recovered from her 48-hour-bug without getting dehydrated, and she continues to happily drink it every day.

It now seems almost fashionable to drink coconut water. Even Madonna's involved. But, good things are good, with or without being the fad.

safely using the baby sling

2010-03-27T18:24:00.000-04:00

In the past year, 3 infant death with a sling as possible cause of death have been reported. It is in several recent news source including CNN and medical news today. I can't even imagine how horrible it must be to lose a baby, and my thoughts go out to the parents. But, I have a mixed feelings on all this panic that is starting to spread.

SPCS (U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission) has released an official warning and recall on Infantino slings. This, I believe, is the right thing to do as a government agency whose role is to protect us consumers. I also think, it is important for us to be a responsible consumer and a learnt user of the product we purchase, especially when it concerns the well-being of our children. Babies drown in bathtubs, but we don't stop bating them. We bathe them carefully.

As for the benefit of baby-wearing, a non-profit organization Babywearing International, along with thousands of years of human history would tell us how great and important it is. This is not a fashion or a fad. They released their response to the SPCS warning, and it is sound and informative. A quote from the response:

"Slings are wonderful parenting tools when used properly and safely," said Lois Balster, MD, FAAP, IBCLC, a San Mateo, California pediatrician and a member of Babywearing International's board of directors. "Using a sling incorrectly is like using an infant car seat without proper installation, infant positioning, and restraints," Dr. Balster explained. "It is always important to position your baby safely in any carrier or infant-carrying device."

So why pick sling over the vertical carrier that isn't part of this warming? I chose a sling, because I was told by my physical therapist that the baby's spine is supported in the more natural position in the sling, where the vertical carrier compresses and stresses it. There are many articles on this, and here is one on nursing baby.com by Rochelle L. Casses, D.C. (which is Doctor of Chiropractic.)

I am a huge fan of our slings from kangarookorner. It is stretchy and snug against the wearer's body and the baby, so it is easy to adjust and keep the desired position. We also have always been careful when we put our baby in it. We always made sure to have her face out, or position her inside so her airway was straight and breathing. We still hip-carry her 24lb body when she's tired and cranky. I do believe it has contributed to Kharin's easy-going, friendly, fearlessness - because we are attached.

It is really hard to figure out what the best thing to do is for our babies, and all we can do is our best.

thinking of Music Together

2010-03-25T01:42:00.002-04:00

We are about to register for the Music Together class for this spring! Kharin had taken a season of fun, hang out with a lady with a guitar type "class," but she seems bored, or rather, not connected with it. A child of musicians, she loves music - she sings and dances all the time - yet the class she's been taking doesn't really engage her. I'm wondering if that is because the approach somehow isn't in sync with her developmental stage.
So, I would like us to try the Music Together next. It is an internationally recognized early childhood music program for babies and kids, and it's based on the concept of a research-based, developmentally appropriate early childhood music curriculum. It emphasizes and facilitates adult involvement, so I will be there learning with her.
I am super excited about it, and will be blogging about it once the class starts on April 16th!

"Aldonefimish!"

2010-03-24T00:35:00.000-04:00

One of Kharin's new favorite phrases is "aldonefimish!" as in "all done, finished." which she yells whenever she really means "I don't want this," even when it is about something she hasn't started yet. Like this afternoon, when she said "eat, peeez?" so I took her out of the bed where I was trying to put her to sleep, brought her into the kitchen and started to give her a spoon full of yogurt. As she saw the spoon coming near her, she yelled "aldonefimish!" and jumped off my laps, grinning.
She just wanted to get off the bed. She lied!! She didn't want food!! 18 months old can lie!!
good thing she's cute.

babyNOIR's first wheel - wishbone bike!

2010-03-23T00:40:00.003-04:00

Last Saturday was so warm and beautiful, she went to the Orchard Beach in the Bronx with her first wheel. We love this wheel! Wishbone Bik e. She can balance and ride around, and it is just beautiful. She had a great time on her "bieeekle" As she grows, we can raise the seat, remove a wheel and make it into a bicycle! She will be enjoying this wheel for a long time!